Stress is slowly leaving my system. And with it, various forms of stress-induced side-effects are leaving the building as well. This brings more confidence back into the remix. And confidence, especially as Swerdloff describes, is a good thing.

I have my moments. I learned a while back that sometimes, you just have to suck it up and ask if you want something. Especially if you want it badly enough. There's been a few noteworthy times when I did such things, and they resulted in some pretty big life changes. One was back in high school when a radio station was going on the air in my town -- I didn't know who was running it, but I knew I wanted to be a part of it. So I walked into the offices that used the parking lot where I had seen this radio station truck parked, found out whose truck it was, and I asked for a job. It led to a rather interesting stint in radio, including an experience as a professional free-form radio DJ. Not many people can say that they've done free-form radio -- especially in today's radio world, and especially not at 17 years old. Another one led me here. People ask me how I got the job I have now, and I usually give them the simple explanation that I asked for it. I was sick of what I was doing, and after I was laid off, I was determined not to go back to public relations unless it was completely necessary. I also needed a change of scenery and I really didn't want to stay in Boston. So, when I found out that someone was leaving the place I wanted to work, I asked the head of the place for a job. I went out and met with him a few times. Circumstances (including 9/11 and the subsequent fallout) prevented them from hiring me. So I decided to pack up and move to Los Angeles, and I told my now-boss that I wanted so badly to work for him that I was moving out there and I'd support myself any way I could until something opened up for me at the company. Luckily, about two weeks before I planned on moving out to L.A. anyways, the job actually materialized for me, and my persistence paid off. So now I'm back in the music industry -- where I feel I belong -- and in a new city and doing something I want to do. Because I had the confidence to ask for it.

Now this just needs to spill over a little more into other aspects of my life. I'm not saying I expect wonders to happen immediately, but now that it's starting to come back, the confidence needs to go out and flex its muscles a bit. It's a good thing that I'm once again feeling at ease with myself and not worrying so much.

Worrying is the big thing. I'm a fairly big worrier. I just need to remember each time that I start to tense up that it's not really worth it. There's not really all that much in this lifetime that seriously needs to be worried about, and there's definitely not a whole lot that's worth giving myself an ulcer over. I may blow my stack every now and then (like the whole rant below), but getting angry and worrying are two separate things. It's not really worth it to worry that much over things that are out of my control, and getting angry every now and then is a bit therapeutic. I just need to keep remembering that. It's all about the mantra.

Well, it's all about the mantra and rocking hard too. One can't have fun if one isn't rocking hard.