If the fact that an entire major intersection was tied up this morning by parents in their Lexuses and Mercedes and urban assault vehicles dropping off their kids didn't make my morning commute pleasurable, the fact that I came out to my car this morning to find the moron who parallel parked behind me last night scraped the paint off my rear bumper sure did.

The problem is, all I have is circumstantial evidence. It's my word that the damage -- which is purely cosmetic, but when you have a silver car, these kinds of things are easily noticed -- wasn't there last night, and that I found a fresh-looking corresponding scrape on the front bumper of the car parked behind me. And this little scrape will probably cost a pretty penny to make it look like it never happened, which is why I want the other person's insurance -- if they have any -- to pick up the tab.

My car is my chariot. My car is one of my most treasured possessions. I love my car. We make a great team, even if she's not a flashy $100,000 sports car. So I like keeping her in the best possible shape, and that's cosmetically too. The fact that someone would carelessly mar her pisses me off. I don't care if the other person is driving a clunker with dents and scrapes already all over, my car doesn't and your dents and scrapes don't give you the right to be careless around my car.