Being served up on freeways today: "Testosteroni, the Southwest highway treat." I can't even begin to tell you how many people were out there on the roads today who sat in the left lane and wouldn't let anyone around them... and most of these jackasses were in jacked-up pickups or SUVs. It even went so far where some of these morons tried to switch lanes to cut me and other people off in order to stay ahead of people. But you can't hold a good New Yorker down. I can't even begin to tell what kind of humiliation their egos suffered when I blasted past them in my little non-sports car Honda. Rule No. 1: If I want to go faster than you, get the hell out of my way! Well, this edition of the Jewish Migration is over. According to the Bible, the Jews spent 40 years in the desert; thankfully, my exodus only lasted three days. However, I'm not quite sure what's more embarrassing: Having your parents give you a Consumer Reports magazine turned to the page where they rated condoms, or telling them that you don't need it because of your painfully single status.