I e-mailed one of my friends back East and asked him to pick up a handful of Big Game lottery tickets for me. I figured that with the jackpot well over $300 million, it's worth a shot. I usually buy a few tickets for fun when the winnings hit that high.

Needless to say, I probably won't win. The chances of me winning are worse than me getting run over by a bus while getting struck by lightning and being swept up in a tornado all at the same time. But supposing I were to win. I'd do the requisite charity donations -- I probably would want to build some kind of homeless shelter or soup kitchen -- and I'd buy myself a nice car & get a kick-ass apartment, but there's one thing I want to do first.

Were I to win the lottery, I'd want to get all my friends together from all over the country, fly them all first-class to Disney World, where I'd reserved a large block of rooms in one of the nicest hotels. Then we'd all spend a week or so there partying, running around the Magic Kingdom & EPCOT & Disney-MGM, riding all the rides and going to the clubs at Downtown Disney every night. I'd pay for the whole damn thing out of my lottery winnings -- plane fare, hotels, meals, alcohol, park passes... it'd be a blast.

One can dream, can't he?