Okay, so how many millions of dollars are being spent on airport security and how many extra hours are we spending in line at the airports while they check everything from our changepurses to our shoes to make sure we're not carrying nail files on planes? We're safe from terror now, right? Enter Nathaniel Heatwole, a North Carolina college student who decided to test airport and airline security by placing six items on six planes, including box cutters, bleach (which would simulate that a corrosive liquid could also make it through security) and modeling clay made to look like plastic explosive. He even sent an e-mail to the government telling them on what planes and when he'd be trying to place the objects. Let me run that by you again: He even sent an e-mail to the government telling them on what planes and when he'd be trying to place the objects. In his e-mail, he provided his name and contact information as well, and our paranoid government who was considering rounding up Muslims and putting them in detention camps after 9/11 for fear they'd all spontaneously rise up and form terrorist cells, did not respond. Can you see where I'm going with this? Five weeks later, Southwest Airlines maintenance workers found the items on the planes. No, folks, the government or the TSA did not find the items even though he let them know they were there! Meanwhile, the Feds finally caught up to Nat and arrested him. The icing on the cake was when I was watching The Daily Show last night, and they aired a clip of the head of the TSA holding a press conference, saying that they "didn't need help pointing out the flaws in their security." Well, pal, apparently you do. You had plenty of advance warning -- I mean, what more do you need besides the guy's name, the time and date he was going to do it and the flights he was going to put it on? Do you need him to streak through the airport, screaming "I'm gonna put stuff on the planes right now!!! Wheeeee, look at me!" Airport security has failed. Period. Despite all the money and time and bureaucratic effort, it has failed. Plain and simple. We had the biggest breach in security in our country's history two years ago, and despite all the money they've thrown at it, they've still failed to plug the holes and fix it. It's a wonder that despite all this, I'm still planning on flying in 5 weeks.