I feel this encroaching feeling of apathy... it's been building over a period of time, and I'm sure it's been showing here. My blog, which used to be a collection of really insightful and humorous insights that I'd made, has dwindled mostly into a recounting of my daily occurrences... kind of like a diary. And no, this is not a desperate plea for people to comment and tell me what a wonderful writer I am -- quite bluntly and honestly, my blog is for me to express myself, and I should be the only one whose opinion matters about this, because I'm doing this for me and not to please anyone else. And quite frankly, I'm fairly displeased with what I've done with this site, and many times I've kept myself from posting things I've written because I just didn't want to blog for the sake of blogging. I've always said that I need someone to play off of. When people tell me that they think I'm a riot and that I should try being a stand-up comic or something, I've always responded that I need someone to get me started. Once I'm rolling, I can go on for a while, and I'm usually pretty good about making people laugh once I'm rolling. But it's that initial push that I need externally, and people don't realize that when they tell me I'm funny... well, it's because they give me the fodder to start, even if it's playfully, which is why I always work better when I'm in a group of 3 or more people rather than just me and someone else. So, in essence, these other people I'm around are the ones being funny. And it's kind of the reason why things have not been as wonderful around here as they used to be. As I said last week, it almost seems like we've hit a wall as far as creativity in this country. Reality TV is at an all-time high, so we're basically watching people doing our everyday activities on television all the time now. The biggest movies this summer are either sequels or remakes -- and half the problem is that many people don't realize that the remakes are remakes. Several of the songs at the top of the charts are cover songs -- and again, many people don't realize that they are covers. So here's the problem. I'm reflecting the lack of creativity out there. It's killing me. I ache for something new. I ache for something creative and original so I can feed off of it, consume it, shine with its reflected glory. I feel no original spark out there; therefore, the one in me is slowly fading out as well, the creative energy that I feed off of is running out so mine is as well. And I hate it. I guess I can blame the media in some roundabout way, though in cases like these, I hate pawning off my own shortcomings on a generalized "they" that's out of my control. There's nothing new under the sun for me and you Won't somebody please Stop the world Stop the world I wanna get off... -- Extreme, "Stop the World"